The Inconvenient Neighbor

Written by  Robert Moses
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The Inconvenient Neighbor
Don’t you just hate it when your neighbors screw with you in some way or the other just to get back at some accident you might have caused a week ago. The worst part is when you confront them about it formally; they give you that big broad welcoming smile and then give you the most puzzled look about it as if the whole accusation is so absurd. It usually happens about the same time when you realize that you just have to back off and your neighbor is so proud of the fact that he got away with whatever he/she might have done. Here are a few more things that neighbors conveniently like to side step.

1)      Whenever they let the dog out to relieve itself, it conveniently knows that the best place to squat is just outside your door. Now this isn’t just any ordinary dog. I’m talking about those big Great Danes that manage to leave fairly noticeable happy landings that always seem to have that stink of cheese and garlic. As soon as the neighbor notices that you’re watching from the window, they call it back and reprimand it like they didn’t know.

2)      Ever wondered when the one day you decide to cook you realize that you’re either missing a ladle or a rolling pin? Well in my case it’s been the blender and a dough maker. Just that when I took the dough maker back from them after a whole friggin’ year, they managed to get purple crayon stuck in the spokes of the dough maker’s mixer.

3)      Well, this is a little off topic, but sometimes they complain about the fact that you make too much noise and it’s hard for them to read their Jane Eyre’s “Little Women”, when in fact you’ve been sleep deprived for the last three days because they’ve been humping like wild silverbacks.

Well that’s as much as I can think of now and I’m already fairly annoyed so I think it would be best if we just cut it short here.


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